The “What Do You Do?” Dumbass

Posted by The Smartguy | Posted in Lazy Co-Workers | Posted on 15-01-2014


Lazy Coworkers

Do you ever wonder what certain people in your office actually do? The Smartguy’s got a dumbass for you. Picture this: You’re sitting at your desk, trying to file those damn TPS reports, when you start hearing the squawking and giggling. It seems today’s subject is over talking to the boss’ personal assistant. From what you gather, she’s apartment hunting and is unsure if she wants to get a studio, or go ahead and put in the extra few hundred a month for a one bedroom. Eventually, the two decide that a one bedroom is best in case she has guests (although, who would ever want to visit this lady?), and she goes back to her desk.

Commuter Dumbass Hall of Fame: The First Class

Posted by The Smartguy | Posted in Travel | Posted on 24-08-2013


Commuter Dumbass Hall of Fame

Like many other people around the globe, The Smartguy takes the train to work every morning. I’m on it for roughly an hour, and you wouldn’t believe how many dumbasses I run into! I’m surprised these guys and gals can even find their local stations, considering how far their heads are shoved in their own asses.

Disappearing Dumbass

Posted by The Smartguy | Posted in Lazy Co-Workers | Posted on 23-08-2013


Disappearing Dumbass

So picture this: You’ve been entrusted with one of the most important projects your company is going to handle the entire year. We’re talking make or break here. If you nail this project, you’re going to be on your way to that big promotion. You’re on a gravy train with biscuit wheels. You’ll make more money than you’ve ever dreamed of! You start daydreaming about your new life. It basically looks like the video for “Hypnotize” by Notorious B.I.G. Then, just as you’re on the verge of being smooth since days of underoos, you’re snapped awake by the worst words you’ve ever heard. You’re going to be partnering with Ted…

The Selfish Commuter Dumbass

Posted by The Smartguy | Posted in Commuter Dumbasses | Posted on 31-07-2013


Selfish Commuters

So originally I wasn’t going to write this piece during my commute home. Originally, I was just going to watch The Flight, starring Denzel Washington. I’ve been meaning to watch this movie since my trip to Uruguay a few months ago, but a movie about a giant plane crash didn’t seem like the right movie to watch while I was either on or soon to be on an airplane. Anywho, as I’m walking onto the very crowded 6:29 train to Westport (cheap pop, anyone?), I spot a seat next to some guy. Normally I like to avoid sitting next to strangers, but sometimes this cannot be avoided on the commute. Turns out that it’s a good thing I did choose to sit where I sat, because I was instantly inspired to write this tale. I’d like to introduce you all to the Selfish Commuter Dumbass. You’ll soon grow to love him as much as I do right now.

The Bus Driver Dumbass

Posted by The Smartguy | Posted in Annoying Dumbasses | Posted on 28-07-2013


Don’t worry, readers… I’m not here to pick on your friendly neighborhood bus driver, no matter how mean he is to you when you don’t have exact change (I mean seriously, the far is like $1.67! Who ever has that?) I’m actually here to talk about that guy that you work with that never does anything wrong. Well, it’s not that he’s actually never wrong. It’s that he’ll throw everyone and their luggage under the bus to get away with his mistakes.